A Proactive vs. Reactive Life

> Proactive- creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.

> Reactive- showing a response to a stimulus.

Is it better to live life having planned ahead for as many things as possible or live life and “que sera sera let’s cross that bridge when we get there?” That’s a question I think every person should ask themselves. The Starr Life would lend its way to the first option.

To be proactive, we must be prepared. Proactivity takes preparation. When has preparation ever been a bad thing? Never! The thing about preparation is that it takes a level of faith if you think about it. In order to prepare for something, you have to believe that it’s going to happen. If I’m preparing my house for a guest who may be staying the weekend, I have to believe that they’re actually going to show up. If I don’t think my guest will show up, there’s no need for me to clean up my house. Now, if I choose not to clean my house and they actually do show up, I’m in trouble because now I have a messy house and am opening up the door for them to develop a negative perception of who I am and how I maintain my home.

If we are preparing for something, that means that we have expectations. Again, if I have prepared my home, I expect that you’re going to show up. I believe that we should always have expectations for everything. This is a conversation that I’ve had time and time again. I’ve talked to folks about this very thing and something a lot of people have in common is that they believe in not having expectations for certain people and certain situations because if you don’t have expectations then you can’t be let down. I get it. There was a time where I believed the same thing. Then I stumbled across this philosophy….

………“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” And I apply this phrase to any and everything. I believe that to have expectations means that you’ve created a foundation on things you stand for and things you’ll accept and things you will not. Walking through life like this has helped me be strong, bold, confident, persistent, driven, and just overall happier. I don’t leave the quality of my life to be dictated and steered by the universe nor by any circumstance or person. I get to choose what I allow and if things don’t qualify, they don’t make the cut.

So, back to being proactive. The definition I found and liked includes that proactive is “causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.” By proactively setting expectations, I am causing life’s situations and circumstances to line up with the standards that I’ve set instead of acting as a response. I am putting a tight grip on all the factors that affect my life and basically saying get in line or get away.

Know what you stand for. Know what you’ll allow. Know what your limitations are. Do these things and ultimately you’ll know the quality of life you’ll live because you said so.