Talking About Transitions

These past few months have been some of the most interesting months of my life. Honestly, probably some of my more favorite months. I moved to a new city which required saying goodbye to a place and people I know well and love much and I started a new career which took me saying goodbye to a career I kind of enjoyed but was super comfortable in. In this process, I had to actively choose to make the decision that this move was a good move and a good decision. There were so many things that came up along the way that should’ve caused me to second guess this move, including the comments of some of the people I knew and trusted, but again, I had to choose to make the decision that this move was good and was at the right timing. Once I made that decision, nothing could tell me otherwise. In the words of Kanye West, “You can’t tell me nothing.”

I remember back to a sermon I heard Bishop TD Jakes preach on tv. He was saying that we can’t expect everyone else to understand our dream and our purpose the way that we do. It’s not for them. They’re not dreaming your dream, they’re dreaming their own, hopefully (that’s for another post). You are dreaming your dream. You’ve done the work and research to dictate your next move based on where you feel led. They didn’t. So no, we can’t expect other people to get it the way that we get it because they’re not doing the same work and thinking about your dream in the same way as you are. That being said, a few people questioned my decision to move on and questioned the timing, but I had confidence in myself and in my work to get here, I didn’t let that deter me. Be mindful of this. Do not let other people stop you from doing what you know is right for you.

Now this doesn’t mean not to listen to and take other perspectives into account. This is part of the research process for sure, but what we have to do is know how to listen in a way that doesn’t directly decide our next step for us. There is such a grey, cloudy space around this and I’m not sure that there is any one person who can clearly explain how to balance doing your own thing while listening to others. I do firmly believe that people in our lives are used to provide wisdom and guidance for us, but again, I do not believe that it is anyone else’s job to tell you what to do and what not to do. So maybe what I’m saying is listen to them, hear what they’re saying, understand their concerns, then put those in a shoebox and in the bottom of your closet.

How do we know if our move is right in the sense of what the outcome is going to be? Well, we don’t. I truly don’t believe there’s a way to know for sure that it is right in the moment. All that we can know is what we want to accomplish in life, what we desire in life, and that we’ve done the necessary research to know that whatever move is being made is being made knowing the most amount of information possible and is in alignment with our best desires. But I do not believe that there’s a way to completely know how good it’s going to turn out to be. If we were to know, that would take the fun out of it. If I knew that I would love my new job as much as I do, it would’ve been less fun to actually discover how much I love my new job. If I knew that I would buy a house which I love, it wouldn’t have been as much fun going through that stressful process of touring homes, putting offers in, and getting to that closing table. Get it? We don’t need to know what the end will look like. Be okay knowing what you desire to accomplish and knowing that you’ve done your prep work to make sure you’ve made a well-informed decision to get you there.

Okay, so yeah now that I’m on the other end of the transition, it’s all gravy on the porkchops and what not, but let’s talk about what life was like during it….well without getting TOO personal.

So I received the offer for my current job, my dream job- when I say dream job I’m talking like if you had asked me when I was in college what I wanted to do with my major, this is exactly what I would’ve said. Well, with this dream job offer I was given the option of starting in two weeks or two months. I chose the two weeks because why would I wait two months, right? But can you imagine that. Literally within two weeks, you need to finish one job, pack up your whole life, and move to a new city. Woah! Crazy! Yeah, I had no idea how this was going to work out, had no place to live lined up, this was crazy. But I knew what I knew and had to stand firm in my choice and decision.

Not only did I not have any living arrangements set up, but I was also signing up to work for a company that I really knew nothing about nor did I know anyone else who had ever done this type of work or work for this company. I was literally walking into the completely unknown. I traded knowing the people and the community I knew for five years for a completely new group of people. But again, I made the decision that this was good. As uncertain and unknown as it was, I knew that I had done the right prep work to back up the choice that I made. For many people, this alone is enough to drive a person berserk.

I ended up securing a temporary place to live until I was able to find a permanent situation. I lived there for 3 months in a room where I never actually unpacked, I never cooked in the kitchen, I never called this house home. 3 months. For 3 months, I considered myself an intruder in this house, just one who had the key. So yeah, imagine living in a place for 3 months that never actually feels like home.

The good news. All of the uncertainty led to great things for me. I stayed for 3 months in an uncomfortable living environment only to end up buying my first home which I love. I look forward to coming home every single opportunity I get to come home. That’s an amazing feeling. I work with some of the most amazing people I could have ever imagined working with. Our culture is such that every person is always looking to become better and our leader pushes us in a way where we cannot ever slope down into the mediocre. If you know me, you’d know that I live for this. I love growing and developing, so I landed at the perfect place.

In life, we are going to go through different transitions as time goes on. Your transition may be a move like mine was or it may just be a shift in where you channel your professional or creative energy. These transitions are going to be uncomfortable, uncertain, sometimes unpredictable…but especially when we transition by choice, know that you’ll just need to persevere and have confidence in your decision. Discomfort in a transition doesn’t mean it’s not right. Know that you are able and capable of surviving through it. Know that as long as you’ve done the prework to ensure you’re making a good decision, what is to come on the other end is going to be amazing and exactly what you need. My advice to you if you’re currently in a transition or about to enter one- stay with it. Do not let up.